Plot Twist

**Post originally written 31/03/2020**

This April is Stress Awareness Month. When I first thought of writing this wee series of blogs I, like the entire human race, didn’t expect to be writing it in the middle of a global pandemic but…plot twist. Safe to say our London trip is on hold for another year but varying degrees of stress and anxiety are here to stay for the next while so I’m just going to crack on as planned.

The last couple of weeks have been bit of a roller coaster and as I was home alone with the kids for the week prior to lock down, I was getting very little sleep and also trying to not believe that what was happening was really happening. One day I wasn’t too bothered that my dentist appointment was cancelled as they were switching over to emergency appointments only…to the next day realising that I would be losing my job due to the very same reasons.

Taking time out to splash in muddy puddles!

I don’t like to show my emotions as they happen, I prefer to be a bit reserved then process everything later on. If they’re good emotions then yay, if they’re bad then I’m just going to squash them down for a while and pretend I’ve dealt with them. Well, as much as I tried to put them on the back burner they refused to obey so I kept having random outbursts of tears over the next couple of days until the hope started to rise with the government announcements of help for businesses and then for employees. I was very relieved. I’m also incredibly lucky that my husband’s job is secure through all this, but knowing that I might eventually get back to my job (which I completely love) eased the doom a bit.

I am well aware I’m one of the lucky ones, I know a few who are self employed but still don’t qualify for any of the measures that have been put in place. Despite all of this gratitude and pep talking, it didn’t stop me bursting in to tears again when we had the announcement of lockdown.

I’m now on official furlough from work, which as part of the terms means I can’t have another stream of income. Although I don’t take any payment for myself from my wee business, it will have to remain closed until I am able to get back to work again but I really can’t be doing with spending the next few months in major mood swing mode so I need to keep busy and get my focus off the news. The plan is to be a bit more active here whilst also having the odd wee play around with clay.